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Overriding Hashem?

The weeks of שובבים— שמות, וארא, בא, בשלח, יתרו, משפטים—are a special period to do Teshuva and as it says שובו בנים שובבים, do Teshuva my wayward sons.[1] In fact, שובבים is rooted in the word שובה. שובבים is rooted in שובב which is an acronym for שמחים בצאתם וששים בבואם, happy when they leave and come, as שובבים is a happy time because we can attain atonement for our sins. Rabbeinu Chananel[2] (990-1053) says that the statement of Chazal of Teshuva is so great that it reaches the כסא הכבור refers to sin that reaches the כסא הכבור. Teshuva can gain atonement even for such sins.

The Pasuk states מושל באדם צדיק מושל יראת אלה-ים,[3] become a ruler over men, a righteous one, who rules through the fear of Hashem. R’ Tzadok Hakohen quotes a most astounding interpretation of his Rebbe, the Izbitzer:[4] מושל באדם צדיק—one can rule over the Tzadik R’ Shimon Bar Yochai who said Teshuva doesn’t help for פגם הברית. That is, don’t listen to this and do Teshuva anyway! Furthermore, מושל יראת אלה-ים, one can do Teshuva even if Hashem says Teshuva won’t help. If one does Teshuva in such a situation it will be accepted! This is in line with the explanation of the Shela inכל מה שיאמר לך בעל הבית עשה חוץ מצא,[5] whatever the host tells you, do, except when he says “go out.”  The same applies to life that we must listen to Hashem except when He says צא. What about in the case of אחר where he heard a בת קול that said return wayward sons except for אחר?[6] That itself was the test meaning not to listen to the בת קול and do Teshuva anyway.[7]

The Gemara[8] says שובו בנים שובבים חוץ מאחר, return wayward sons except for אחר. This can also be understood that during these days of שובבים there is an opening for teshuva even to one who already did damage (פגם) and is called אחר and are חוץ, outside the sanctuary of Kedusha.[9]

The Mishna states האומר אחטא ואשוב...אין מספיקין..., one who says I will sin and then do Teshuva…he is not given the opportunity to do Teshuva.[10] R’ Pinchas Koritzer interprets this in a different light: at times one may say why should I do Teshuva since I know I will sin again (אחטא ואשוב).[11] Yet, if this person says I will do what is in my power and do Teshuva, then אין מספיקין,[12] there is no doubt he can do Teshuva and in the end he will ascend to great levels.[13] So, one who says if he sins he will do Teshuva…no matter how many times he sins, then there is no doubt—אין מספיקין, that he will succeed in doing Teshuva. 

The following incredible account is recorded in the Sefer Taamai Haminhagim.[14] A רשע גמור, completely wicked person once jokingly asked R’ Moshe De-Leoin (1240 – 1305) if there is any remedy for his sins. He was told the only atonement is to accept upon yourself the judgement of death as an atonement for your sins. He then asked if he does that, will he receive a portion in Gan Eden to which the answer was yes. He asked R’ Moshe to swear to him that he should have a place in Gan Eden in his vicinity. And so he swore to him. Among other things, this רשע was then blindfolded and was told to confess his sins to Hashem and accept upon himself the yoke of Hashem completely in addition to accepting upon himself death in exchange for his sins. He followed the procedure and he wept bitterly. There was a gathering of elderly and Talmidei Chachamim there and they said he should open his mouth and we will throw some lead so that he will die. He then opened his mouth in compliance with this without objection. Then a full spoonful of honey was thrown into his mouth and the Pasuk וסר עונך וחטאתך תכופר,[15] your iniquity is removed and your sin eliminated, was recited. The Baal Teshuva screamed bitterly, Rebbi ‘why did you deceive me, kill me and I won’t see my destruction. Why should I desire to live after all the sins I’ve done?’ R’ Moshe said don’t fear because Hashem has already accepted your actions. From that time onward he didn’t stop learning and for the remainder of his life he did Teshuva. His Rebbi, R’ Moshe, eventually died. The Baal Teshuva cried bitterly that his Rebbi was taken and he davened that he should follow suit since he now had no Rebbi to guide him. Hashem heard his Tefila and he fell ill. When his death was imminent he began to scream ‘…I am coming to fulfill my Rebbi’s oath.’ He then died. After he died many elders and greats saw through a dream how this Baal Teshuva was sitting next to his Rebbi in Gan Eden learning together with him!   

It is written in the Sefer Chovas Halvavos[16] that if one finds it difficult to do Teshuva for example from a type of theft or the like, if he takes upon himself all the essentials and conditions of Teshuva within his power and ability, Hashem pardons him. If one injured his friend’s reputation, Hashem will kindle feelings of goodwill and friendship in the heart of his friend so that he will forgive him. If one doesn’t know who he wronged or the amount of money embezzled, Hashem will enable him to contribute money to projects for general welfare such as building bridges…

To what extent does one need to do Teshuva? שובה ישראל עד ה' אלה-יך[17]—one needs to do Teshuva until he realizes that only Hashem rules the world.