Question Mark
Question Mark
Yaakov looked up, as the door opened. Good.
The parent before him was coming out of the classroom. Yaakov rushed in, and
sat in front of the teacher.
“Ah, yes. You’re Yoni’s father,” began the
teacher. “What a pleasure to have him in our class. Was there anything in
particular that you’d like to discuss?”
“Actually, I’m concerned about his grades in Gemara
class,” Yaakov responded. “It seems to me that Yoni is very frustrated with his
inability to keep up with Gemara class. I’m thinking that the problem
stems from the difference in style of learning, now that he’ in high school, compared
to the style in his middle school. Do you think that’s possible?”
“That’s certainly possible” replied the
teacher.
“Do you think you could show me the grades of
the other boys, who came in with him from the same middle
school?” Yaakov inquired. “That way I’ll be able to see whether or not Yoni has
a particular problem with his learning, or if it’s
just that he has to get used to a different style, like the other kids.”
“Well...” The teacher paused. “I don’t think
it’s a problem for me to tell you the grades of the other students, without
names of course.”
“Without names?” retorted Yaakov indignantly.
“What will that do? I want to see how Yoni is doing relative to normal kids. If
you tell me Aryeh Glupstein’s grade, for example, that won’t mean anything.
Aryeh is a genius. No, I mean I want to see the grades of the boys with
their names. That way, I’ll get a real picture of how Yoni is doing.”
Is Yaakov correct? Is the teacher allowed to
show him other students’ grades, with their names, or is it forbidden for the
teacher to divulge this information?
Answer of Rabbi Moshe Shternbuch, shlita:
If the father insists that he must see the
grades of the students, with their names, and that hearing the grades alone is
not sufficient, it is permitted for the teacher to show him this information.
This is on condition that it is clear that it is of benefit to the father to
have this information. Additionally, it must be apparent that the father is a
person who is careful about not gossiping, and he will not relate this
information to anyone else. This is to ensure that no damage will be caused to
the other students as a result.
Answer of Rabbi Yaakov Ariel, shlita:
Revealing students’ grades to the father,
together with their names, is forbidden, due to the prohibition of lashon
hara (forbidden derogatory or damaging speech). If the father is convinced
that he must see this information, he may contact the students, and request
their permission. If the students are below the age of bar mitzva, the
father must receive permission from the parents. (Even if the students are
above bar mitzva age, it is proper to ask their parents. This is because
the parents are financing the students’ educations, and, additionally, because
parents are more capable of understanding the ramifications.)[i]
Rabbi Yaakov Meir Stern, shlita agrees with Rabbi
Ariel, that it is forbidden for the teacher to divulge this information to the
father, without permission.
In summary: According to Rabbi
Moshe Shternbuch, it is permitted, on condition that the father will not reveal
the information to anyone else. According to Rabbi Ariel, it is forbidden,
unless the students and/or their parents grant permission.
[i]
Even
if this is for some benefit, as the father contends, this does not permit the
speaking of lashon hara. (This is not the same as the ruling of the
Chafetz Chaim, in which he permits warning someone about a problem with a
potential business or marriage partner. In that case, that is a matter of
saving someone from potential damage, and we are commanded by the Torah
"do not stand idly by while your brother's blood is being spilled."
In our case, it is not a matter of saving anyone from potential damage.)