A Shameful Act
"ואם נחרבנו, ונחרב העולם עמנו על ידי שנאת חנם, נשוב להבנות
והעולם עמנו יבנה, על ידי אהבת חנם" (אורות הקודש ג', שכ"ד).
A Shameful Act
They had spent hours writing the script, and then hours more
practicing. There was no doubt in Chana’s mind. Her class’s Purim play would be
the best in the school. And it all be due to Chana, and her perfect imitation
of Mrs. Green, the biology teacher.
The long awaited day arrived. The entire school gathered in the
auditorium, along with the families of the students and staff. Chana was a
little nervous, as the crowd numbered over a thousand people! She quickly got
over her stage fright, though, as she anticipated the hysterical laughter of
the audience, in response to her impersonation of Mrs. Green.
Chana waddled onto the stage, padded with numerous pillows, and
jutted her abdomen out, in order to highlight her plump appearance. A fellow
“teacher” on stage greeted Chana: “Oh hello, Mrs. Green!”
No sooner had the words come out of the other girl’s mouth, that
there was a sudden cry heard from amidst the audience. Mrs. Green could be
seen, head in hands, dashing toward the exit. A few paces behind her was Mr.
Green, who was clutching the hands of his two little girls, and running after
his wife. As the other teachers caught wind of what was happening, they too
stood up, and stormed out of the auditorium in protest.
Chana was left in the middle of the stage, clutching her pillows.
Members of the audience began to chant “boo!” Chana stood frozen in place, as
hot tears coursed down her cheeks. It was clear to all present that the Purim
play was over.
That night, Chana gathered together with some classmates, and tried
feverishly to get in touch with Mrs. Green, to no avail. It was only the next
day, when class resumed, that Mrs. Green spoke with them.
“Girls!” she sobbed “You have no idea what it’s like to struggle
with a weight problem. Do you think I choose this? Do you have any idea how
hard I’m working on losing weight? Do you have any idea what it’s like to have
your weight brought to the attention of a thousand people? Especially when one
of those people is my husband, who is supposed to think that I’m beautiful. Do
you know what the worst part is, though? Last night, when I was putting my
girls to bed, one of them said to me ‘Mommy, why did they make you look so
disgusting?’ and I didn’t know what to answer her.”
Several months passed, and Yom Kippur was approaching. A delegation
of girls came up to Mrs. Green, and asked for her forgiveness. Is Mrs. Green
required to forgive the girls?
Answer of Rabbi Yaakov Ariel, shlita:
Shulchan Aruch states (siman 606, se’if 1) that a
person who offends his friend must appease him. If he is
not appeased after the first attempt, the offender should go a second and third
time. If the victim is not appeased after three attempts, the offender does not
have to attempt to make any more attempts. The Rama writes that the victim
should not cruelly withhold forgiveness. (Additionally, the Mishna Berura
states that anyone who is quick to forgive is forgiven for his own sins.)
However, in our case, a simple apology would not be sufficient. Due to the
tremendous embarrassment that the teacher suffered, the girls are obligated to
offer some compensation to the teacher. There is room to say that the girls are
obligated to monetarily compensate the teacher, for the embarrassment she
experienced. At the very least, the girls must provide some significant form of
appeasement, and demonstrate that they learned a lesson from the experience. An
example of this would be if the girls accept upon themselves that from now on
they will not make fun of any teacher, for any reason. This would be the most
desired take home lesson.
In summary: Only after a significant attempt at appeasement, and possibly
monetary compensation as well, as well as a demonstration that the girls have
learned their lesson, and will be careful in this area from now on, would the
teacher be obligated to forgive the girls.