Higher Than Kaddish

As a 12-year-old boy, R’ Pam (1913-2001), who lived in Lithuania, was sent by his parents to Yeshiva in a different town. When his parents heard that the wagon driver from their city was headed to where R’ Pam was learning in Yeshiva, they would send him regards. When he would receive those regards, he felt such a thrill because he felt lonely as a 12-year-old boy away from home. When his parents had more notice that the wagon driver was headed there, they would write a letter and send it. Upon receiving it, R’ Pam was overjoyed. When his parents had even more notice, his mother would make him a fresh kugel. When R’ Pam received that, he felt tremendous joy. Later in life, after his parents passed away, he took that as a lesson, as he would say the following. When I say Kaddish, I am sending my parents regards.[1] When I learn Torah, I am sending them a letter. When I strengthen public Torah learning, I am sending them a fresh kugel.[2]

When R’ Ruderman[3] (1901-1987) was 14, he learned in the Slobodka Yeshiva. One Erev Rosh Hashana, he accepted upon himself to finish Shas by Pesach. Prior to the new Zeman after Succos, a message came to the Alter of Slobodka that the father of R’ Ruderman passed away (His mother died when he was 7.). The Alter of Slobodka (1849-1927), who knew R’ Ruderman committed himself to complete Shas, didn’t tell R’ Ruderman his father died which caused him not to say Kaddish for his father. Only after R’ Ruderman finished Shas by Pesach did the Alter tell him that his father died. The Alter explained to him that his learning Shas was worth more than saying Kaddish for his father (If he would have told him when it happened, R’ Ruderman wouldn’t have finished Shas due to the mourning.).

Once, on his mother’s Yartzheit, the Rosh Yeshiva of Telz, R’ Elya Meir Bloch (1894-1954), was in a foreign city trying to raise funds for those Jews who had their house destroyed by fire. Due to this, he was unable to say Kaddish since there was no Minyan. R’ Bloch’s response to this was, “What does my mother want—to say Kaddish or to actually do it?!” His action to help other Jews was a living יתגדל ויתקדש..., making Hashem’s name great.